i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
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