once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Randomize
