turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I will be naked everywhere
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
