i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
