i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
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