Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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