just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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