five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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