She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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