ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
