Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
