It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize
