there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
