this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
