I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
