I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
