Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Randomize
