im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
