I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
