So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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