do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
