You work out of a Hotel?
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
