He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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