there's paper in my vomit.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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