what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
they're like a gay fantastic four
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
