She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
