i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
