I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
