Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Randomize
