You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize