Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I had to cum in my sink.
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