no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
