Sry I called you an 8
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
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