I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
