our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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