Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
