I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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