I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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