i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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