smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
