I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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