He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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