I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
