I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize