when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
please don't ironically join a cult
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