fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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