you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
