so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
3pm strippers are depressing
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
