you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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