I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Randomize
