I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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