so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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