never play flip cup with pint glasses
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
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