She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
