Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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