his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
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