Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
