i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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