kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
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