I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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