it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
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