My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Dicks are not precious.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
