don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
