either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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