ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
