I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Randomize